A Winters Group client shared the following experiences in response to a recent Inclusion Solution blog post, Maybe I Am Just Too Sensitive.
I’ve been thinking about a couple of your Inclusion Solution Blogs and some cultural experiences of my own came to mind which really makes me think that these experiences are multilayered.
Experience 1: I tried out a new nail salon a couple years ago, it was owned by a Korean family. I was the only customer until an African-American woman about my age rushed in to fix a nail that had chipped. She was very appreciative of them getting her in quickly, she seemed to know everyone there and asked about their families. The manager attended to her himself, and said that if there was ever any concern she had about the service, to work with him directly and not through the other employees as they may not know how to handle things (so it sounded like there had been a situation in the past). Then she tried to pay for the fixed nail and he refused to let her, then she tried to tip him and he refused. So she gave sincere thanks and left. At this point, I was pleased with the customer service and thought I would definitely come back. Then the manager looked at me and said, “You know how they are, they don’t want to pay for anything so you have to handle them like that.” I said, “I’m confused. I don’t know how they are. She tried to pay you, but you refused. She tried to tip you, but again you wouldn’t take it. I don’t see that at any point she had concerns about paying for services.” From that point on they spoke in Korean. I never returned.
Experience 2: My mother worked at a company that taught English to international business men. Most of her clients were Asian and Latino men. One of the things that disturbed her (and embarrassed her as she took them around the city) is that even though they had never personally met an African-American person, they were overtly racist. She said they would often use very offensive language and would even act rudely to the African-American people they would encounter as she assimilated them into culture and the city. She would try to figure out where this stereotype originated from (movies, stories from peers, etc.) but the answers were vague. She often invited her clients to our home for dinner with some of our African-American friends and there were many “ah ha” moments. (On a side note, there were issues between and among the business men from different countries as well. Some refused to be in the same class with those from other cultures and had to be separated.)
