Apparently even Oprah feels the subtle every day micro-inequities that are so real for so many of us living in a world where unconscious bias prevails. Oprah was explaining that racism for her is often overt and subtle and recounted an incident in a Zurich department store recently where the sales associate allegedly told Oprah that a $38,000 purse in a locked display case was too expensive for her. In her own defense, the sales associate said that she told Oprah that she had the same purse in her hand as the one in the enclosed display for a much lower price.
Some years ago I had an almost identical experience, except the product was leather gloves with a price tag of $100 in a store in Upstate New York. I was in search of a nice pair of winter gloves. I had looked at all of the “sale” gloves but did not see the “ones”. I asked the sales associate if I could see the gloves in the locked display case. Her reply was, “These gloves are very expensive.” I thought to myself, “I did not ask you how much they cost. I just ask if I could see them.” We stood there looking at each other, as I expected her to open the cabinet and I guess she expected that I was satisfied with her answer and did not expect her to open the cabinet. I just left the store, without gloves, frustrated and disappointed.
I could recount many similar incidents in my life. I will just offer one more. I was in long line in a book store on a Christmas Eve doing some very last minute shopping. The sales associate asked everyone in front of me if they wanted to join the special membership club. When it was my turn, I almost knew verbatim the sales pitch for the membership offer. I was waiting as she was ringing up my order. She handed me the bag without telling me about the offer. I said, “You did not ask me if I wanted to join the special membership club.” I was flabbergasted to say the least when her answer was, “No, I did not.” I was not going to let this one go so I asked, “Is there a particular reason why?” Even more taken aback, she said, “Not particularly. I just didn’t.” It is at moments like these that you have to make a decision. Do I take it to the next step? Ask for a manager. Call the race card. Get myself more stressed out on Christmas Eve or do I just try to forget it and go home and enjoy the holidays with my family.
In all of these situations we really don’t know that race was the reason for the treatment from the sales associates. In Oprah’s case the store employee may very well have just wanted to be sure that her customer was aware of a similar product at a much lower price point. While I can’t speak for Oprah, I know for me, I would have probably assumed that the clerk did not think I could afford the purse because of my race.
Oprah regrets that the incident has received so much media attention because she was not speaking against Switzerland or even the store. She was simply offering this as an example of how one is judged by a variety of diversity factors (age, dress, race).
The lesson in all of this is that there is a big difference between intent and impact. While no malice may have been explicitly intended the impact is lost sales to the store and a potential psychological impact on the individual (probably not on Oprah 🙂 ). However if day after day you have to go through life not knowing if you can easily navigate seemingly routine tasks like buying a pair of gloves, you may start second guessing yourself. Was that a race thing? Am I being too sensitive? Is there something wrong with me?
The store assistant in Switzerland offered to resign but her boss rejected that notion. I am glad that he/she did. As I have said many times before, if we just keep punishing people who make mistakes like this, we don’t learn from it. We need to keep asking, what lesson can we learn that will move us toward a more inclusive society?
Image Credit: Stephane De Sakutin / AFP/Getty Images
