As year 2021 has passed and we stand halfway through 2022, I am sure we can all agree this year has been “one for the books.” To say that we never could have expected these last couple of years is a mere understatement, and the fact that so many of us have been able to live through this with our mental faculties intact has not been short of a miracle.
Congratulations to all of you for being here and showing up for yourself. I truly don’t want to take that lightly, and want to acknowledge we have witnessed some rough times. As I think about this past year and where we are now, I reflect on how, while we have persevered and overcome so much, there is still some major work ahead.
This world, nation, and our respective states have unfortunately missed the mark on humanity. We have witnessed some extreme human “turbulence” that has moved us into emergency mode and many of our brothers and sisters have suffered an enormous amount of trauma, despair, and heartache with few glimpses of hope. Meanwhile, many who have not experienced this level of trauma personally have asked the question, “What can I do?” or perhaps made the statement, “I am just one person.”
You can be an Authentic Ally.
The Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence gives a great definition of allyship. Allyship is an active, consistent, and arduous practice of unlearning and re-evaluating, in which a person holding systemic power seeks to end oppressions in solidarity with a group of people who are systemically disempowered. [1]
Based on reading that definition, some of us may have been exercising a form of allyship, but allies: beware of practicing in the space of performative allyship. I suggest focusing your energy and efforts toward authentic allyship. Performative allyship is when someone from a systematically empowered group professes support and solidarity with a disempowered group in a way that either isn’t helpful or that actively harms that group. Performative allyship usually involves the “ally” receiving some kind of reward — on social media, it’s that virtual pat on the back for being a “good person” or “on the right side.”[2]
Authentic Allies support disempowered communities, but critically, they seek to develop strong ties with the group while remaining in a supportive role.
An organization I have followed over the years that models authentic allyship in a corporate space is Ben & Jerry’s. While they have a presence on social media, their mission and vision align with the tenets of authenticity.
A few critical components to consider on your quest to be an authentic ally:
- Stand beside, not in front of. Authentic allyship does not mean being the leader in the action. Provide the forms of support you’re asked for, rather than the forms of support you imagine would be helpful. The latter can be condescending or actually a hindrance.
- Listen. For real. Many times the person you are being an ally to may just need to express how they feel. They must feel their stories will be heard, honored, and treated with the utmost respect.
- Get ready to make mistakes, because you will. Apologize, fix it, and move on. [3]
Authentic allyship takes on so many forms and is an ever living and growing process for us all. Martin Luther King, Jr., a renowned humanist leader said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” He led a whole movement! So yes, with each step, you, as one person, can effect change. That’s right, you!
While the list I provided was not exhaustive, there are some great resources that provide guidance to assist you in your allyship journey. I challenge you in the next thirty days to find ways to show up authentically as an ally. This year, it’s time to move and act on creating an intentional place and a space we can build toward positive change…together.
[1] https://www.ocadsv.org/sites/default/files/resource_pub/allyshipdefinition_handout.pdf, 2020
[2] Performative Allyship Is Deadly (Here’s What to Do Instead), Phillips, Holiday,
[3] Id.
