Have you ever been told “I don’t see you as _____________”? Have you been told this after you’ve invested countless hours and energy working to demonstrate how you specifically are more than capable for the task you’re pursuing? Yeah, so have I.
The American saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” doesn’t even hold power in this scenario. You may interact daily with the CEO, president, vice president, or other decision maker of an organization, but if they don’t “see you as _______” it can be an uphill climb up a slippery slope to be seen as such.
Many of Us are Climbing for Gold
I am a fan of professional wrestling entertainment. Night after night, I watch amazing professionals perform acts of acrobatics, strength, stamina, strategy, and charisma across several wrestling promotions competing for gold belts that prove they are the greatest at what they do. People around the world know who they are and what they’ve capable of.
Wrestling entertainers move between the various “promotions” to help ensure career success. While they may hold gold at a one promotion, they may transition to another promotion that promises more money, more time in the ring, and long-term success… only to get there and be reduced to a sidekick or someone who is paraded around when they first arrive yet falls to the shadows until they eventually leave. You know… just like many of us who work corporate jobs. If you’ve ever transitioned from pet to threat, you are keenly aware of this symbolic parade.
You Don’t Look the Part (Even Though You Do)
At times, a select few of these talented people are allowed to shine and show the breadth and depth of their talent before a national, and potentially international, audience. And they shine so bright! They outshine the competitor they are in the ring with. They outshine the insulting nominal expectations so brightly that we have to wear shades so we aren’t blinded.
Critically, even after an amazing showing, (in the corporate world this could be completion of a major project or a continuous flow of success) they/we still aren’t seen as contenders for the gold that we’ve worked so hard for. Before you ask, yes: often those who shine bright and don’t move in the rankings, or move so slowly that many lose interest, have more melanin.
Tunnel of Love Vision with Rosy Glasses
The question arises: “Why would they stay somewhere when they are not valued, or seemingly respected for the professionals that they are?” It’s for the same reasons that many of us stay in toxic jobs – a paycheck, consistency, benefits, or love for the work.
When we love what we do, we put up with more than we should. When we love what we do, we don’t complain about a longer wait time for success. The love for what we do temporarily hides the realities of our work environments. That same love is exploited by companies who know that our love for the work supersedes a title or promotion. Until it doesn’t.
Executive Excuses
When the love of the work is no longer enough, we ask for what we’ve demonstrated we can do and we’re coldly reminded that “I don’t see you as ______.”
“You haven’t demonstrated these traits (that have never been mentioned until this very conversation) that are pivotal to success in this role.”
“I thought you were happy in your current role, so I haven’t thought about your progression.”
“But you’re so great in the role you’re in now.”
“If you move up or to another department, what will we (our department) do without you?”
And the list goes on like a child’s birthday wish list. It is then that our love of the work takes a backseat to our professional aspirations, our investments in ongoing training and education, and our self-respect. Like wrestling entertainers, we take our careers into our own hands. We move on to the next organization that promises to give us our gold belt, knowing that there is always the looming possibility that they too won’t see us for our worth.
The Demands of Partial Invisibility
We clandestinely complete personally-funded professional development opportunities that we find on lunch breaks. We network at every level whenever and wherever we can because it’s all about who you know, how you’re perceived, and if people like you. Updating our resume is like wearing a seatbelt – one way to ensure minimal damage if we are involved in an unforeseen calamity. We hide part of ourselves we think will make us a liability. We amplify traits we think will help us grow.
We do all of these things while continuing to perform at work and show up at home. We pretend with family and friends that the visible sacrifices are worth the covert forfeiture of ourselves. We do all of these things at the cost of our physical, emotional, and mental health. We give everything but it’s not enough. We run out of currency, and still don’t have our gold belt.
Invictus: My Unconquerable Soul
It’s at this critical juncture that we stop and ask ourselves a few questions. Do we move to another organization to get one step closer to gold? Do we stay where we are and hope that they’ll see us as we truly are? Do we step into the ring of the unknown and take our fate into our own hands? All we know is that we want to be seen, respected, and acknowledged for the professionals we are.
