A Point of View: The Power of Privilege

A few weeks ago, I grabbed drinks after work with two of my colleagues. As we caught up on how things were going in our respective worlds, I mentioned the guy I’m currently dating. Like many people, I’m not opposed to dropping in small details about my personal life if I’m comfortable enough and the time is right. But when I reflect on moments like this, I recognize the quiet power of privilege.

When offered the chance to attend last year’s Out & Equal Workplace Summit, I jumped at the opportunity. As a first-time attendee, I had no idea what to expect, but I assumed it would be a rich week of learning, professional development, networking, and fun. What I didn’t think much about when I booked my registration and hotel was the humbling and eye-opening experience that this conference would deliver.

I spent three days soaking in stories of the challenges, setbacks, heartbreaks, and breakthroughs that people within the LGBT community have faced. From Out & Equal founder Selisse Berry to actress Trace Lysette, each person’s narrative brimmed with resilience, power, and grace.

As I listened to these stories, it occurred to me how much privilege I’ve benefitted from in my life as a heterosexual, cisgender woman. Privilege is an unbelievably quiet entity, but its effects on our lives are resounding. It gets us into rooms. It launches us into circles. It clears the way for specific paths. Privilege grants us certain wishes without us ever even having to ask for them. But it is not something many of us, self-included, take the time to consider and appreciate until someone brings it to our attention by way of his or her own experiences.

Admittedly, I’ve considered my lack of privilege many times. I am a black woman. It is who I am and how I show up in the world every day. Of every identity I have, this one is far and away the most important to me. And, being in the minority carries its own implications pertaining to privilege, implications that can be gut-wrenching and hard to swallow in today’s society.

Attending Out and Equal last year revealed to me in a new and different way that I am still wildly privileged. I don’t think twice when mentioning the guy I’m dating to a group of colleagues; I walk into public restrooms without fear of chastisement or humiliation. Yes, there are many things about my life that are hard and sometimes unfair. I would never discount that, nor would I trade that existence for any other. But, there are also so many things about my life that are easy. Effortless. Privileged.

As I heard in one of the sessions at Out and Equal, perhaps it’s better when we embrace that life is paradoxical. We are privileged in some ways and not in others. We can be the same as some people while also being different. We can be part of the problem while still taking responsibility for the solution. We can benefit from privilege while working to dismantle the oppression it incites.

These truths are not easy, nor are they simple. But, life is hardly ever about “either/or.” It’s more often than not about “and.”