The honeymoon is over, which is a harsh reality for many. I empathize with my colleagues working in and passionate about DEI work. Sixty percent of chief diversity officers at S&P companies left between 2018 and 2021. Many organizations invested in DEIA for optics due to expectations of applicants, employees, shareholders, and customers. Unfortunately, it resulted in broken promises and stress. For the lucky (and I hope that is you), you have joy, inspiration, support, growth, respect, productivity, accessibility, and inclusion. I write this because many DEI practitioners continue to experience unnecessary hardship. DEI Practitioners need to understand how to thrive and survive in this field because this role is needed.
I would attribute the following trajectory to the first six-month “honeymoon” experience for many in DEI roles:
- Happenstance: Everyone seems to have a different idea of what you do, but with the current environment in the country, it is clear this role is needed.
- Novelty: This was relatively a brand-new position for the organization that they weren’t sure belonged. Employees with different identities were excited and felt like they now had an ally that could help change. It was clear that this role was needed.
- Excitement: You were excited when you were included in meetings with a supportive leadership who was eager to hear a plan. Employees were excited because this was something different and new. It was clear that this role was needed.
- Opportunity: After the first few months, you really started to get further into identifying areas of opportunity for the organization. Employees came to you because they saw you as a change ally. It was clear that this role was needed.
- Strategy: You hit some roadblocks and couldn’t access everything you needed, but found some workarounds by scaling down your plans. You started to feel ineffective because of disappointed employees’ expectations.
- Reality: You noticed after a few months it was getting difficult to get leadership buy-in. Budgets, boards, hiring, compliance, policies, and reports all seemed to come before your needs.
- Disappointment: You decide to push harder. You focus on one or two important issues. You research and talk to mentors about influential change, but still hit a wall with leadership. You feel frustrated, ineffective, and unsupported. You consider that maybe it will get better … or maybe the grass is greener somewhere else.
The six-month honeymoon is over.
Even though the demand for this work is high and the stress can be unnecessarily high, there is a way to thrive. Here are some of the things I encourage you to try.
- Stay in touch regularly with other DEI practitioners. You need someone else in the field to talk to because they understand. Try joining a private online group of DEI practitioners.
- Therapy — because you need someone else who is not invested in your specific work, but is invested in you. Call the number on the back of the insurance card; call EAP and use those sessions to talk through an issue.
- Read and listen to situational DEI resources. I am a Winters Groupie; I have found their books
- and podcasts helpful. There are a lot of resources out there, and sometimes just reading or hearing from another DEI practitioner is helpful because they have possibly strategized how to improve similar situations.
- Emotionally separate your work from your personal life. You are not expected to solve world peace, and you will not be remembered for all the extra hours you donated to your job.
- Print out, make PDFs, and/or save messages of recognition or thanks. Take them out periodically when things feel stressful because you do make a difference.
- Finally, listen to your body, your therapists, your family, and your friends if you need a break or to walk away. Sometimes that organization does not deserve the work that you put into it. There are others out there that could use your talent and will help you remember why you are in this field in the first place.
It is clear in our present-day America that this role is needed for our ability to move forward as a country. We have not moved beyond racism, genderism, bias, segregation, tokenism, tone policing, exclusion, classism, or inaccessibility. To move to a truly equitable society, wrongs from the past need to be remedied. We need accountability for perpetrators of harm.
True justice and change are not comfortable or easy. The need for DEI will not go away, AND if the words you would use to describe your experience in your position are only negative, it is not good for you. As I have written before and will probably again: You are not alone.
