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Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you must.  

I used to say that I didn’t mind being the one to take the heat because I was strong enough to handle it. I could take on the most challenging roles. I could take the emotional and mental abuse shelled out by unhealed people in personal and professional relationships. Truth be told, I thrived in these situations. 

Put me up against a toxic employer and I’ll not only stand my ground but also make headway toward creating a more diverse, equitable, and psychologically safe workplace.  

This is what I see with so many people who do work in the DEI and social justice arenas — people who know who they are, what they want, and the impact they want to have on this world. People who know what it’s like to live in a harsh reality. People who fight for changes to protect others.  

It’s this desire to protect that motivates us to square up and fight. If you work in DEI and social justice, then you choose to place yourself into circumstances that will test your mental, physical, and emotional limits. You enter into environments that will stress your mind, your body, and your spirit. And because you know that you are strong enough to take it, you will just keep taking it.  

If you work in DEI and social justice, you choose to place yourself into circumstances that will test your mental, physical, and emotional limits. Share on X

You work long hours. You accept poor behavior. You stay longer than you should. 

I’m here to remind you that you are a human being with human emotions and human limitations. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness and that includes how you treat yourself. Being strong enough to handle bad situations does not mean that you have to keep putting yourself into bad situations. 

You are a human being with human emotions and human limitations. Being strong enough to handle bad situations does not mean that you have to keep putting yourself into bad situations. Share on X

Whether your mind recognizes it or not, your body and your spirit are being stressed. Thriving in stressful situations does not minimize the impact of the stress on you. 

As a burnout prevention coach, I know the devastating effects that come from being under too much stress for too long — headaches, digestive issues, withdrawing from activities you used to love, and a disproportionate amount of negative feelings to name a few. As a “put me in, coach” fighter who thrives under pressure, I also know that it’s possible to not recognize exactly how much stress you are under.  

People who fight to make the world a better place have likely grown up in ways that constantly challenged them. Anything that can go wrong, will. This caused these people to develop a mindset of “life is supposed to be hard.” It wasn’t until someone told me outright that I was taking on too many big things at once that I realized my idea of what is normal is actually not.  

People who fight to make the world a better place have likely grown up in ways that challenged them. It wasn’t until someone told me I was taking on too many big things at once that I realized my idea of normal is actually not. Share on X

I had a very skewed perspective of the kind of challenges that people are supposed to face in their lives. Being mistreated was normal for me. Jumping through hoops was normal for me. I realized that having an easy life was a privilege when it should be a right. 

You have the right to enjoy your time on this planet. You have the right to be healthy and happy. 

The secret is to reconnect yourself with your humanity. You are a person who has learned how to fight, but that does not make you a fighter. You are not a cold and heartless machine who was put on this earth solely to perform a function.  

You show that in the way that you treat other people. 

Although you may be living in your purpose, doing work that fulfills you, that is not enough to sustain you. If you want to continue to do the work that you love and are so passionate about, then you must learn to see yourself as a human with a personality who has wants and needs and desires all your own. You must learn to separate what you are good at from who you are. You must learn that being good at something does not require you to do it; you do not owe your health to anybody. 

You must learn to separate what you are good at from who you are. You must learn that being good at something does not require you to do it; you do not owe your health to anybody. Share on X

You must learn that you are as deserving of the love and respect and kindness that you bestow upon others. You must learn to give to yourself at least as much as you give away.  

You must learn that you cannot make the world a better place by destroying yourself.