Over the past year, black women have been opening up about the struggles of black motherhood and infertility…and I am here for it. This past weekend, I was glued to the screen for the Oprah special on OWN with Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade, where they spoke candidly about their journey to parenthood via surrogate. For me, and many other black women, this was huge. Hearing about infertility and IVF and surrogacy is not new, but it’s rare to hear these stories from someone who looks like me. Gabrielle Union has been candid about her struggles getting pregnant for a while, even documenting her experience with IVF and numerous miscarriages in her book.
Hearing about infertility and IVF and surrogacy is not new, but it’s rare to hear these stories from someone who looks like me. Share on XWe may all have been surprised to hear that former First Lady Michelle Obama also struggled to have children. In her memoir, Becoming, Obama opens up about miscarriages and conceiving Sasha and Malia through IVF. I wrote earlier this year about Beyoncé and Serena Williams’ experiences with pregnancy and childbirth and how it is important that people with their position and influence use their voices to shine a light on topics that are typically only shown through the perspectives of white women. As one writer noted in The Undefeated, “The public presence of real-life, three dimensional black mothers such as [Obama, Union, Beyoncé and Serena] serves not just as an addendum to a narrative but also a corrective.” Yes—that part.
The visual that comes to mind when someone discusses infertility is an older white woman, but black women are twice as likely to suffer from infertility issues. According to a Pew Research Study, white women are more likely to report their journeys. Most women (and men) tend to shy away from openly discussing this issue, because it is personal, emotionally painful and there is a stigma that comes with it. Add to that being black, and there’s a whole other dimension of silence. Culturally speaking, black people tend to not discuss medical issues or go to the doctor, despite being more likely to struggle with various health complications. In her interview with Robin Roberts, Obama shared “I felt like I failed. Because I didn’t know how common miscarriages were. Because we don’t talk about them.”
We need to continue to talk openly about infertility, especially among black women. Let’s normalize the conversation and correct the narrative – this is not just an older white women issue. Let’s erase the shame and stigma. I applaud and thank Gabrielle Union, Michelle Obama, and others who have been brave enough to let us into their personal journeys and open up about their emotionally painful experiences. This exposure and education into black women’s experiences will help to shift mindsets and remove biases.
We need to continue to talk openly about infertility, especially among black women. Let’s normalize the conversation and correct the narrative – this is not just an older white women issue. Let’s erase the shame and stigma. Share on X
