Category: Unpacking the Conversations that Matter

Unpacking the Conversations that Matter: The Essential Power of Challenging Dominant Narratives

“Now what?” “How can I translate my learning into real change?” “What tangible action steps can I take?” Change is most likely to occur when supported by a combined effort of policies/commitment from leaders, and individuals feeling empowered to self-reflect and engage with others interpersonally in ways that push the needle toward greater inclusion. A the heart of these efforts is a key strategy: recognizing and unpacking harmful “dominant narratives.”  

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Unpacking the Conversations that Matter: Pulling Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps When You Don’t Have Boots & Redefining “Hard Work”

When we focus on the individual in our society’s view on “worked hard,” we are losing a vital but often overlooked part of success: the “Us.” We need to celebrate, recognize, and act upon the fact that an individual’s success is intertwined with the systems we live in — systems that in turn have their own unique conglomeration of power, privileges, opportunities, and adversities. Think about it this way: How can you pull yourself up by your bootstraps, if you never had “boots” to begin with?

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Unpacking the Conversations that Matter: “It’s just a joke! Why are you so upset?”

During my first day at an internship I once held, each of us was asked to tell a joke as part of our introduction to the staff and the rest of the intern cohort. This fun activity proceeded as planned… until the last intern told a hurtful, racist “joke” about poverty and food in another culture. It was followed by an awkward silence during which we all winced and looked around, uncertain how to respond. One of the staff eventually said, “Wow. Well. Let’s continue with our agenda.” 

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Unpacking the Conversations that Matter: “That Place Is ‘Dangerous, Shady, Ghetto’ & Paradoxical Perceptions of Our Gentrifying Cities

I’ll admit it: I love grabbing the occasional $5.00 latte at a super artsy coffee shop—often located in a newly “revived” part of the urban neighborhood I live in. Words on billboards and signs in front of new small businesses advertise the “revival” of a “rough” neighborhood “replenishing” the economy. I pay for my latte, and I turn left toward my apartment. But what happens if I turn right?

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Unpacking the Conversations that Matter: Distancing Statements – “I’m a good white person.” “I have a lot of diverse friends.” “I don’t get why this is so hard!”

In D&I work, we often offer suggestions to the effect of: “This is an ongoing journey,” or “Expect a lack of closure.” In essence, both phrases can be boiled down to one statement that would by now be cliché if it wasn’t so essential to continue restating: This work is never done.  In this post, I’ll be unpacking some common distancing statements that people may use when trying to assure others that they are on the “right side” of the issues.

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Unpacking Conversations That Matter: “I wish I could be as tan as you” and more: Deconstructing Appropriation and the Quest for Authenticity

When you stand out as being visually “different” in a space, “Where are you from?” “Can I touch your hair?” or (the most interesting,) “I wish I could be as tan as you,” are common questions and comments. Now, disclaimer: I am all for giving genuine compliments; heck, I am more than happy you love my chocolate glow! That being said, there is a fine line between being intentionally curious and celebrating someone’s unique characteristics, and exoticizing these characteristics.

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Unpacking the Conversations that Matter: “Homosexuality is wrong. It says so in the Bible.”

“I love all people as the Bible commands, but I also cannot condone homosexuality.” “Marriage is reserved for a man and a woman according to the Bible.” “The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” Attempting Bold, Inclusive Conversations® in faith-based communities can be especially difficult on value-based topics like human sexuality.

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Unpacking the Conversations that Matter: “They are Taking Our Jobs” and Challenging Anti-Immigrant Rhetoric

“They are taking our jobs!”  “How do you stop these people?” “We aren’t those types of immigrants.” Last week, as we found ourselves on the 18th anniversary of 9/11, I couldn’t help but think of that day in 2001, one of the first occurrences in my lifetime that changed how Americans viewed freedom and security. As a child of immigrants, this day was the first time I was told I wasn’t “one of us,” but rather one of ‘them.’ 

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Unpacking the Conversations That Matter: “I Treat Everyone The Same.”

“I don’t see color.” “I treat everyone the same.” “All lives matter.” We’ve all heard these phrases; many of us have said one or more of them—probably with good intentions in mind. Today, in the first installment of our Unpacking Conversations that Matter feature series, I’ll be “unpacking” the harmful messages included in these sentiments and offering some suggestions for how to respond if you encounter them. 

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Racial Justice at Work book cover

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Cover of the book We Can't Talk about That at Work (Second Edition) by Mary-Frances Winters and Mareisha N Reese

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