I recently attended a panel discussion during which diversity and inclusion were hot topics. This focus was likely due to the fact that the audience was composed of mainly young professionals from minority groups who are just starting their careers. They listened with intent and excitement, seeking meaningful advice from seasoned professionals and executives about what they should expect in the workplace. One savvy young sister raised a concerned question to the panel: “You all are telling us about things that we should be doing to be accepted at work and to make sure that we excel and are included despite being diverse candidates. But what about the companies? What is their role? What should they be doing for us, and how do we know that a company is authentic in their efforts to be inclusive?”
Her question has been echoed by so many professionals of color at all stages of their career. I wanted to jump out of my chair and tell her, “If you realize that the company’s efforts to be inclusive are not authentic, just leave girl! You don’t have to do it! You are worthy of being at a company that wants you to be the best version of your authentic self! You have agency and power in the decisions you make and where you spend your time building your livelihood.”
This thought ran through my mind, and I was eager to speak up and share it and hopefully leave a positive, lasting impression with these young people that needed to have an early understanding of their worth. But today was a day that I had chosen to be a fly on the wall rather than lead or facilitate, so I patiently waited to hear what I hoped to from the panel.
A very successful and seasoned black woman took on the younger woman’s question. She said, “Your career depends on you. It is on you to create positive relationships and create that kind of environment that you need to be happy. And don’t forget you are setting an example. If you want a better culture, then be a positive example and keep in mind that the opinions formed of you can affect hiring decisions of other people of color in the future.”
I listened in somewhat of a stunned horror. I wholeheartedly agree that every person’s career does depend on them and the work they do and their impact to the bottom line. Still, it hurt my heart to hear that seasoned executive tell a younger woman that she had to be mindful of every move throughout her career because she was setting an example that would impact all other young black women thereafter. I’m a firm believer that companies must acknowledge that they have work to do to create the inclusive environments that true innovation and business growth requires.
At the core of the woman’s response was an endorsement that, as people of color, or women, or LGBT people, or disabled people, etc., we are responsible for “acting right” so that we don’t reinforce negative stereotypes about our group. It angers me that these worries are unique to people from minority identity groups in the workplace. What a limiting way to live, and, more importantly, what a limiting way to work 40+ hours a week. This mindset keeps people in constant fear that a particular style of speech, style of dress, type of hair, or way of being, might seem too (insert underrepresented group here) and therefore diminish their credibility. Worse yet, it is potentially crippling to live with the fear that if another person in your particular group does anything that aligns with the existing negative stereotypes, you, too, will be perceived in the same negative manner.
I couldn’t think about the theme of stereotype threat and not consider the character Molly in HBO’s Insecure. While Molly’s style of speech and aesthetic helped her seamlessly blend into her law firm, an intern in her group noticeably did not fit this aesthetic. When I watched these episodes, I could feel Molly’s discomfort through the screen. It was as if every time that intern talked, her skin was visibly crawling. Molly pulls the intern (Rasheeda) aside, warning her, more or less, of the impact of her behavior that wasn’t meeting the norms.
While Molly claimed that she had the intention of helping this young intern thrive at work, I’d argue that her actions were really more about Molly. She was scared beyond belief. She had done the work to get into the fancy circles, to appear elite, to fit in. Would all that be washed down the drain if partners at the firm suddenly confused her with the young intern who had a different style?
A part of me says that I can’t blame her. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been called the other Black woman’s name, even if we look absolutely nothing alike or have almost nothing in common. Part of my experience at PWIs has taught me how much underrepresented groups get put into boxes. It is true. It is frustrating. And it really STILL happens. But again, what a limiting way to live and work. Furthermore, this line of thinking limits progress. If we want more inclusive cultures in our companies, we cannot continue to live inauthentically and encourage other professionals of color to keep their masks on when they go to work. We should all bring the best version of ourselves to work, but it should be the best version of who we actually are, not someone we are pretending to be out of fear.
A global HR VP recently told me that when they hire, they look for cultural add, not cultural fit, because simply fitting in limits innovation.
What the older executive told that younger professional at the panel might sound harmless at face value — “You have autonomy, you can set an example.” — but I’d argue it’s very dangerous. Telling young people that we can’t live and work as our authentic selves out of fear of the repercussions for other young professionals that look like us is limiting, counter to professional development, and frankly exhausting. We deserve more than that.
So to that young woman, if you are reading this, be your full self. The onus is on companies to create a culture where you feel included. You can identify how the company is doing this by checking if they measure diversity and inclusion progress. You can research what programs they have in place to set up minority talent for success. You can look at who is in leadership and if there are efforts to promote more underrepresented groups. You can look at how the company responds to public mishaps. If you find the company’s policies don’t allow you to do your best work authentically, you can leave. You have agency here, and yes, you deserve to be included.
