I grew up knowing that I was wanted, loved and sacrificed for. I did not know until I was 18 that I was adopted. My parents did not tell me. They never wanted me to know. To them I was their daughter and that was all I needed to know. I was sheltered, protected and spoiled. My mother was overprotective, I think she was afraid that I would fall prey to influences that would take me down a different path (her main fear was teenage pregnancy, drugs and other potentially dangerous influences were not really a factor in my home town of Niagara Falls, NY in the 60’s).
You see, my mother only had an eighth-grade education and she wanted more than anything for me to go to college. I grew up in a matriarchal household. My dad was an easy going, God fearing man who basically did whatever my mother said. She was strong, determined and did not believe in “can’t.” Her modus operandi was always… “we will find a way.” I remember one snowy day (and I mean like 3 feet of snow), my mother had a church commitment (a “rummage” sale). She could not dig the car out so she bundled me up and we walked the 3 miles to the church. She always found a way.
I learned that value from my mother. When my high school guidance counselor told me that The University of Rochester was too lofty a goal for someone like me, I was determined to succeed. Fourteen years after I graduated from the U of R (two degrees), I was elected as the first African American female trustee. A decade later, I was awarded the highest alumni honor called the Hutchinson Medal for my accomplishments and community service. I am not bragging when I highlight these accolades, I simply want to point out the power of never giving up and believing, even when those around you do not, that all your dreams are possible. You can always find a way. What might my life be like today if I had listened to that high school counselor who doubted my abilities because black girls did not go to schools like The University of Rochester?
In the corporate world during the late 70’s and 80’s, I and many of my female peers experienced sexual and racial bias to a degree that would not be tolerated today (most of it anyway!). Even though my career was on the fast track, I chose to control my own destiny by starting my own business. It was a gutsy move back in 1984, so much so that the local newspaper wrote an article about it: “Woman starts business in her basement”. Upon leaving my professional corporate job, I heard that one of the senior VP’s said, “Let her go, she will come crawling back.” Again, that fueled my determination even more to succeed.
The 33 years of running The Winters Group have not always been easy. If I talk too much about the inequities that I have experienced, I am accused of calling the race card, so I won’t go into any detail. I have worked harder (which my sisters and brothers of color understand) and the fruits of my labor are paying off, so I am grateful. No complaints. No regrets. I have always been able to find a way.
This women’s history month, I am reminded of Sojourner Truth’s poignant “Ain’t I a Woman,” speech delivered in 1851. It is a relevant reminder to me, and perhaps, all women that we can do whatever we set our minds to because we are women—strong, self-reliant, interdependent, intelligent. We always find a way despite the barriers.
I plan to keep finding a way because the challenges for equity continue to be staggering and seem to grow with each passing year. Won’t you join me in making a personal commitment to “find a way” for yourself and for the women around you?
