A good friend and colleague, Steve Hanamura of Hanamura Consulting, likes to do a little exercise during his keynote addresses where he says, “turn to your neighbor and tell them that you are going to tolerate them today.” People laugh but they get the point. It does not feel very good to be “tolerated.” I still too often see our work framed as “tolerance” and sensitivity. I read a blog post recently that said maybe that is where we have to start, especially in schools, with children. We first get them to tolerate that which they don’t like, including other children who are different and then maybe we can get them to the point of acceptance. I advocate for skipping over teaching tolerance and moving right to acceptance. Tell somebody you are going to accept them today. How much more powerful is that than being told that you are going to be tolerated?
Acceptance is a really powerful concept. It eliminates judgment, promotes curiosity and an open dialogue to authentically explore differences and similarities.
Hallelujeh!!! (Not sure I spelled that right, but you get the point!) Finally someone that agrees with my thoughts on “tolerance” – skip “tolerating” in the schools and talk about accepting each other. The whole “Teaching Tolerance” approach has bothered me for years. I’ve used the same question – “how would you like to be tolerated today?” Thank you, Mary Frances for stating what I think should be obvious but hasn’t been addressed that way for years now! Let’s move that forward!!