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I hit a wall…

I can’t tell you exactly when, where or even how. It all happened so quickly. What I remember is one day feeling completely on top of my game – reading books on diversity and inclusion, watching the news religiously trying to stay on top of current events despite how painful this process has become, engaging in conversations about bias, bigotry, discrimination, emasculation, homophobia, Islamophobia, misogyny, power, privilege, racism, Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, All Lives Matter – you name it. Then, all of a sudden, it was like it all came to a screeching halt.

I don’t know where this wall came from, but I can tell you that it hurt like hell. I doubt I’m qualified to give an official diagnosis, but I’m going to call this wall “non ad praesidium bonum vibes” or failure to protect good vibes (forgive my shamelessly weak attempt at using Latin).

Realistically, I know that there were many contributing factors to what led to my encounter with this wall. My personal life, poor spiritual connection, genetic makeup (sorry, Ma. You know we have our “funks”) – all of this likely played a role in my inevitable meeting with this wall. Be that as it may, I want to focus on a different aspect of what led me to this fate.

The work we do in diversity and inclusion is extremely important. No matter your organization or industry, to be proficient in a position related to diversity and inclusion is to master the balancing act of educating while always learning, engaging without alienating, pressing for progressive change while practicing extreme patience. Overcoming internal challenges related to differences in communication styles, resistance to implementing new practices, affecting and assessing change. If you’re not passionate about the impact and import of acting as a change agent, it’s going to be difficult to find success in this space.

In addition to the internal challenges, there are some unique external factors that have an impact as well. Most notably of the recent external factors is the current administration and the circus that has come along with it. Differing political views within the office is no new phenomenon, but the polarization of our current political climate can be stifling to say the least. The divisiveness that has been created by our current state of politics certainly doesn’t seem to encourage much positive dialogue around difference.

For me, personally, the combination – intersectionality, if you will – of these factors led me to the wall. It turns out that my efforts to stay on top of current events with regards to the current administration was draining me. Daily. It was hard watching my brother BO (That’s President Barack Obama – we’re cool like that) so gracefully depart the White House and be replaced by an administration led by bigotry and ignorance. Add to that my thirst for knowledge in books that analyze black life in America and I found myself feeling educated, but also a bit depressed. Not to mention the countless incidents of police gunning down unarmed black people throughout the year of 2016.

The fact that I work in diversity and inclusion makes me susceptible to being sucked into random conversation dealing with race, gender, sexual orientation, politics, religion, age, police violence, etc. I’d need more than one hand to count the times that I’ve been on a plane next to an older white male who, upon learning that I work in diversity and inclusion, just had to share his story about his black friend. Or about how they “don’t see color”. I choose to bite my tongue in these circumstances and maybe that’s a mistake on my part. While I absolutely love my line of work, I realized that in order to operate most effectively in my role, I have to guard my vibes.

To guard my vibes, I took 10 days to regroup. During this 10-day span (Jan 18 – 27), I didn’t watch any television or listen to the radio. I limited my intake to educational and Christian podcasts. I played no games – not even those addictive iPhone games. I put down my typical book in favor of books focused on prayer and spirituality. I incorporated several mental exercises into my daily routine including meditation, affirmation and remediation. There were specific goals I wanted to accomplish during this fast of sorts, and I felt much better once it done.

The point I’m trying to make is that there is no problem with diving head first into this world and work of diversity and inclusion – I actually enjoy and encourage it! However, it’s very important that you remember to come up for air, too. Find out what “coming up for air” means for you. It could be reading a book or two on spirituality or just simply positivity. Send a card to a friend you don’t reach out to enough or call a family member you haven’t checked on in a while. Maybe it’s taking a break from the 24-hour “breaking news” or taking inventory of what dominates your mental space and deliberately making room for something new.

Whatever you have to do to guard your vibes, make it happen. If it’s not too late, then trust me, you’ll be happy you were proactive about this one!