The Buzz: Acceptance is Not Tolerance

Autism is the fastest growing developmental disorder, affecting one in 59 individuals, yet it is one of the most underfunded and misunderstood.  

Today, we celebrate the 13th Annual World Autism Awareness Day, not only to spread education around Autism, but to celebrate acceptance. Autism acceptance means valuing and embracing people with Autism instead of being afraid and seeking ways to change them.  

Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that affects how people perceive the world and interact with others. It is a spectrum condition, meaning each person will be affected in different ways and may need varying levels of support for things like social interaction, the ability to communicate ideas and feelings, self-regulation, and the ability to establish relationships with others. Often, people with Autism do not “look” disabled, which can lead to children with Autism being perceived as naughty and misbehaved and adults with Autism feeling misunderstood and rejected.  

There is so much to learn and celebrate about these individuals in order to increase understanding and acceptance, foster support, and inspire a kinder, more inclusive world. Below are a few tips and resources to help you on this journey of understanding and acceptance: 

• Take the pledge and #CelebrateDifferences by sharing a story, spreading awareness, promoting acceptance, and igniting change online and in-person.  
• Check out these resources for those new to learning about Autism or those newly diagnosed. There are versions for both adults and adolescents that address the most common questions about the diagnosis and welcome people to the Autistic community.  
• Start taking steps to become an ally. For example: Understand that feelings and interactions you may find normal might be distressing to someone with Autism. Respect their boundaries, even if they seem unusual to you. Don’t use slurs or degrading language (such as the R-word). Respect bodily autonomy; just because someone has a disability doesn’t entitle you to touch them or control their body without consent. Honor different communication styles, as some people with Autism use assistive and adaptive technology to communicate (which is just as valid as verbal communication.) 
• Read or share these books that feature characters with Autism, are written on the topic of Autism, or will help you understand Autism. This list includes young adult fiction, children’s fiction, memoirs, and non-fiction/self-help books. They cover a range of topics, such as: journeying through pre- and post-diagnosis, navigating the relationship between Autistic and non-Autistic siblings, exploring depression and mental illness as they relate to Autism, and understanding how Autism, gender identity, and sexuality may intersect.  
• Perhaps most timely, consider how the COVID – 19 pandemic is affecting people with Autism and their families, and ask if there is anything you can do to support. Many people with Autism rely on schedules and routines to avoid distress, but with so many places shut down right now, they are being thrown into overwhelming change. Parents are worried their children might fall behind developmentally as they miss behavioral, occupational, and speech therapy that provide them with the support to function day to day. People with Autism also shared their distress around grocery shopping among the crowds and lack of supplies in stores. One man shared that a store near him opened for the elderly and disabled, but he doesn’t “look” like either, so he was overwhelmed with guilt and dread that took him hours to recover from. It is important that we consider how this virus is affecting different identities, recognize our own privilege in that, and ask how we can help others during this time.  

Increasing your understanding and acceptance of Autism may come in many different forms—whether through education, fighting stigmas and stereotypes, hiring a person with Autism, ensuring your community is accessible and inclusive toward people with Autism, etc. Whatever it may be, remember that acceptance is not passive tolerance—acceptance is an action. It means doing what you can so that children with Autism grow up feeling loved and celebrated, adults with Autism feel respected and valued, and communities feel safe and inclusive.