La’Porsha Renae is an amazing singer. She should’ve won the 15th and final season of American Idol. Nonetheless, like numerous contestants in previous years, she recently proved that you don’t have to win the competition to create a name for yourself. Except in her case, she hit a really bad note with many in the gay community.
When Renae was asked to opine on her home state of Mississippi’s new anti-gay law, which essentially permits discrimination against LGBT people based on “religious liberty,” she told a press conference: “This is how I feel about the LGBT community: they are people just like us. They’re people with feelings. Although all of us may not agree with that particular lifestyle for religious reasons, whatever the reason is, you still treat each other with respect. Everybody is a human being. We should be able to coexist with one another.”
Like nails on a chalkboard, Renae explained further that she is “one of the people who don’t really agree with that lifestyle.”
“I wasn’t brought up that way,” she said. “It wasn’t how I was raised. But I do have a lot of friends and a lot of people that I love dearly who are gay and homosexual”—gay and homosexual!—“and they’re such sweet, nice people. We should just respect each other’s differences and opinions and move on.”
All of which makes me cringe—from referring to homosexuality as a “lifestyle” to reaching for the classic some-of-my-best-friends-are-black explanation. I wasn’t the only one cringing. After the predicable backlash to her comments, Renae admitted the offensiveness of “lifestyle” and that she adamantly opposes Mississippi’s HB1523 law.
So Renae apologized and wants to “move on,” explaining that we should respect each other’s life choices.
And that’s why I’m not moving anywhere just yet. Her apology demonstrates that she still doesn’t understand that being gay is not the same thing as choosing a Pepsi or Coke. What is she apologizing for?
I’m not aiming to demonize a reality-show competitor, but her remarks offer an opportunity to educate not only herself but a good portion of the public who feels similarly. Aside from explaining that being gay is no more a lifestyle than being black, I’m skeptical of the nature and quality of Renae’s friendships with gay individuals. I’m not sure how someone can be good friends with a person who disapproves of his “lifestyle.” Or is Renae referring to the flock of hairstylists, makeup artists, and wardrobe attendants who cater to her? (Yes, I’m stereotyping. For good reason!)
Plus, using your upbringing as an explanation for certain backward views may make sense if you’re Amish. But if you’re a 23-year-old adult who’s presumably heard of the world wide web, you ought to know better.
So yes, Renae’s apology is a start. And we should accept it, but she and others must understand that there’s a difference between respecting each other’s views and respecting the right to voice them. I’m all for the latter, but in this case, not the former. It’s like saying: “I know you don’t believe in slavery. I can accept and respect that. But I’m going to buy me a slave anyway. And you need to respect that.”
Sounds absurd, right? So is Renae’s “apology.” It’s up to her now to learn some more about her “sweet, nice” friends that she says she loves dearly.
