Are you wondering to yourself: What would be the best snack to turn someone gay?
Didn’t think so. Doesn’t matter. Because the answer is finally obvious—Doritos!
“Doritos are a product marketed to children, so they make the perfect gateway snack to introduce children to the joys of homosexuality,” wrote conservative Pundit Ed Straker. “What business does PepsiCo [owner of Doritos] have pushing homosexuality on our kids?”
Straker is citing Doritos recent launch of limited edition “rainbow” chips as part of a campaign to raise awareness and reduce suicides among LGBT teens. By donating at least $10 to the It Gets Better Project, a nonprofit aimed at inspiring and helping LGBT youth, people were eligible to receive a bag of multicolored Doritos.
Straker went on explain what the different colored chips connote, pointing out that “green are homosexual, the pink are lesbian.”
That is totally crazy! Totally! Pink Doritos obviously reference gay men. Just as evident, eating them will cause you to belt out show tunes and worship Liza Minnelli.
Brett Peters, communications director for the It Gets Better Project, said, “We’re honored to partner with the Doritos brand to celebrate the momentous progress that has been made toward equal rights for the LGBT community in this country. By utilizing the incredible reach that Doritos has throughout the world, we can give hope to the LGBT young people who need it the most. There is so much more work to be done, and together, we will inspire the LGBT community and its allies to continue the fight and embrace who they are by living a #BoldandBetter life.”
By contrast, numerous critics have taken to Twitter to #BoycottDoritos. “I’m sick of the liberal left shoving godlessness and immorality down our throats,” wrote one individual. “What’s next, rainbow Cheerios?” wrote another.
Regardless, the campaign has been an apparent success. “Due to the incredible amount of support we have received, all bags of limited-edition Doritos have been claimed,” the campaign’s site now states.
