What happens when a place you spend the bulk of your time every day starts to feel unsafe for you?
I wish I didn’t know the answer to that question, but I do. I’m transgender and non-binary, and I’ve worked in several places that have at times started to feel unsafe for me. From misgendering to actively choosing health insurance plans that don’t cover gender affirming care, many workplaces have a long way to go to ensure transgender inclusion.
As transgender people we are not a monolith, our experiences in the workplace are varied, and I can’t speak for all transgender people. I can only speak from my experience and the experiences I’ve heard from others. Through kinship with many other transgender people, I compiled a list of what your trans coworkers wish you knew:
We hear when you misgender us and don’t correct it.
I used to explain getting misgendered multiple times throughout a meeting to my coworkers as what I imagine it would feel like to get hit over the head with a tennis racket repeatedly. Imagine trying to focus in a meeting when that is happening.
If you use the incorrect pronouns or name for someone, don’t make a big deal of it. Correct yourself in the moment, acknowledge that you made a mistake, and verbalize that you will do better next time. If you can’t do that in the middle of a meeting, send a private message to the person, email them afterwards, or pull them aside after the meeting to acknowledge your mistake. It is very hurtful and makes us feel invisible when you don’t acknowledge that you misgendered us or used the incorrect name.
We notice when you don’t take our concerns seriously.
Often, transgender people are not taken seriously when we come forward with a concern we have in the workplace. Sometimes it gets brushed off, we get told to submit a complaint to HR and nothing ever happens, or we’re coached on ways to handle the conflict that are not helpful. No one should have to feel unsafe or unheard at work.
We are not the authority on all things transgender.
Just because we are transgender doesn’t mean we should feel pressure to educate you on our experiences and the experiences of our community. It is burdensome to ask that of us and we can’t speak on behalf of the entire transgender community or their experiences.
We can feel it when a space hasn’t taken our identity into consideration.
We know when you haven’t considered our needs! I have worked in several workplaces where there are only gendered bathrooms available in the office. This can’t always be helped, but there are policies and procedures that can be put in place for folks who might need an alternate option. People often don’t think about this either when it comes to selecting inclusive health insurance providers. Ensure that your health insurance provider covers gender-affirming care.
Some of us don’t wish to be out at work.
Not everyone wants to disclose their transgender identity at work, and that’s ok! It should never be a requirement. We should still ensure that our work environment is affirming for anyone who does want to be out at work.
We want to be celebrated, not just tolerated.
We are proud to live in our truth as transgender people and that should be celebrated! It is easy for workplaces to only acknowledge loss, grief, and hardship when it comes to certain communities. We want to be recognized for all of the amazing work our community is doing to drive progress forward. It is important to celebrate holidays associated with our community the same way we celebrate other communities throughout the year. I’ve personally never worked somewhere that even acknowledges Pride Month, let alone Transgender Day of Visibility or National Pronouns Day.
We need your support, more now than ever.
In 2024 alone, nearly 400 anti-LGBTQ bills have already been introduced across the United States. There is so much at stake for our community. We need you to listen to us and uplift our voices, educate yourself, and take action.
We spend so much of our time in the workplace in our lifetimes, let’s make it a place we all want to be.
