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As we move into the 5th week of the stay-at-home order in Ohio, I have realized the following about myself: As this pandemic became real, I went from being a person who believes in and operates (for the most part) from a place of equality and equity… to assuming a stereotypical role of a woman.  

As many of you know, I believe in and consult in the areas of equality and equity, often questioning and pushing gender norms and stereotypes. However, in the last 5 weeks, I have assumed all responsibilities for the home, while also finding ways to keep my business operating in this new reality…while my husband has done what he always does during a time of stress (dive deeper into work).  

In the last 5 weeks, I assumed all responsibilities for the home, while also finding ways to keep my business operating in this new reality...while my husband has done what he always does during a time of stress (dive deeper into… Click To Tweet

I did not have this insight until last night, as I was reflecting on the prior week and assessing how I had been spending my time. I was surprised to realize that in this time of stress, I had reverted to my culture (upbringing). I had assumed all gender-specific roles: taking care of the home and my 11-year-old child (among other things) — in ways stepping away from focusing on my business, which I have worked hard to build over the last 13-years (and am not ready to give it up). Meanwhile, my husband had changed NOTHING (this is not a complaint, but rather a data point about behaviors and influences of gender programming from a young age).  

Before this significant change, things were not equal, but somewhat equitable in our home. However, in my naïve mind, I believed that in an unprecedented time like this, we would all step up and lead (reassessing our priorities). Based on my years of experience in Change Management, I should have known better, but I am a die-hard optimist. 

This example of mine further illustrates that change often does not happen because the environment changes. In times of stress, we often go back to what we believe deep down in our belief systems and hold on to it even harder (for safety); this happens at such a deep level that we often don’t realize it is happening.  

In times of stress, we often go back to what we believe deep down in our belief systems and hold on to it even harder (for safety); this happens at such a deep level that we often don’t realize it is happening. Click To Tweet

When you do understand your behavior and its impact (on self and others), the question becomes, “What now? Do I make the change or hold on to what may not work in the new reality?”   

As we individually and collectively move further into figuring out what our future may look like, based on the data we have today, each of us needs to dig deep within ourselves to answer a few questions: 

  1. How am I doing? No, really, “How am I doing?” 
  2. What patterns have I observed about myself in the last 5 weeks? 
  3. Where do I go within myself when I am operating from a place of stress? 
  4. What beliefs or values drive my behavior? WHY? 
  5. Does what I say and what I do match up during this time? 

The more we understand what is informing our decisions and behaviors, the better we can deal with ambiguity and uncertainty. I am going to continue to reflect on my “Why.” Hopefully, by doing so, I can find the balance I need to move forward in this uncertain time while finding ways to maintain my sanity and serving others. 

Does what I say and what I do match up during this time? The more we understand what is informing our decisions and behaviors, the better we can deal with ambiguity and uncertainty. Click To Tweet

“It Is Spring, Time To Do Some Digging, Pull Out The Weeds

AND

Plant Some New Seeds.”

This post was previously posted on Priya’s LinkedIn.