If you forced me to pick my favorite month of the year, it would be June, by far. Yes, as an educator, it’s the month summer break begins. Yes, as an avid basketball fan, it’s the month of the NBA playoffs… and it was in this month that the creator blessed me with one of the most precious gifts a man could receive: a child. But if pressured, I would have to say June is by far my favorite month because I get to experience the joy in seeing other men celebrated, recognized, acknowledged and loved for a bond we all share — a bond that is often misrepresented, misunderstood and underappreciated — being a father.
Fatherhood is a space I enjoy so much, for the opportunity that it offers men to “relate,” no matter their ethnicity, age, social status or economic differences. It’s a space that the outside world can’t corrupt… or so I had hoped.
You see, there are moments in which I can no longer think of myself in terms of just being a father. These have included: a Sandra Bland cover–up, a Tamir Rice assassination, a Kendrick Johnson conspiracy, a Breonna Taylor murder, and the public lynching of George Floyd. It is in these moments that I am reminded of the one TRUTH that clouds the space for all fathers to simply relate: Race.
Renowned educator and fellow father, Dr. Dallas Dance recently shared these words, “Simply put, BLACK men can never forget that we are BLACK. The moment we forget, TRUST we’ll be reminded.”
As Black fathers, we are consistently caught between protecting our children’s innocence and exposing them to the reality that a country built by our ancestors was not built for them. Black fathers must leave the home every day with the aim to provide for the family, while simultaneously risking their ability to cover their family. This reality inevitably puts a strain on the bond of fatherhood across race. Here I hope to unite us — Black fathers and our white brothers in fatherhood — across areas of similarity that can be used to empower Black children and equip their white brothers and sisters to be allies in the fight.
As Black fathers, we are consistently caught between protecting our children’s innocence and exposing them to the reality that a country built by our ancestors was not built for them. Click To Tweet1.) Don’t let racism slide when you see it:
It is imperative that we as fathers do not allow the media to dictate our children’s worldview. We must be intentional about seeking opportunities to have conversations with our children that center on racism, bigotry, micro-aggressions and the like by immediately calling them out when we see them, hear them or experience them in any way. By doing this, we foster critical thinking skills for children of color and white children alike to challenge systems of oppression.
It is imperative that we as fathers do not allow the media to dictate our children’s worldview. We must be intentional about seeking opportunities to have conversations with our children that center on racism, bigotry,… Click To Tweet2.) Expand your home library:
We must expose our children to the rich history and culture of Black people and the entire African diaspora — empowering Black children’s inner ancestry, strengthening their resolve and affirming their confidence. This strategy is equally important for white households. By exposing your children to culture and history they otherwise would not encounter, you have the chance to thwart a false narrative presented by society, instead developing a deep sense of appreciation for a life and culture not their own.
3.) Show them the power that lies within their hands:
Sit with your children and show them how technology can be used to at least try and hold people accountable. By no means should we become comfortable with the notion that Black people should suffer in the name of progress. However, the capturing of these moments can be used as a tool to expose racists, bigots, white supremacists and the cultures/systems that support their behavior. As Will Smith said, “Racism is not getting worse, it’s getting filmed.”
4.) Educate your children on being in the fight; on the right side of the fight:
This is strictly for my white brothers in fatherhood: Proactively seek out how you can support Black people. Then take it a step further and intentionally integrate these ideas into the ethos of your home. Be willing to share with your children your lived experiences of failures at being accountable to the ideals of TRUE equality, equity and justice for all — and also share your successes in being an ally in the fight for the same.
For my white brothers in fatherhood: seek out how you can support Black people. Integrate these ideas into your home. Be willing to share with your children your failures at being accountable to equity and justice and your… Click To TweetFathers: we must remain committed to one another; committed to ensure that our families experience a world unbroken and unfractured for generations to come. Remain committed to, as The Winters Group would say, “Live Inclusively.” Each day fighting for TRUE equality, equity, and justice for all.
