Two years ago, we had a shift in HR leadership at my company. As luck would have it, my 3-year-old (at the time) son’s daycare provider was sick one morning during that transition period, and I brought my son into work with me, as my husband had an in-person meeting he had to keep. I armed myself and my son with tons of snacks, an iPad and headphones, and I hoped to fly below the radar all day at work so that nobody would realize I had my preschooler in my office that day. Shortly before lunch, our new HR director popped her head into my office to introduce herself for the first time…and there was James, sitting amongst Goldfish cracker crumbs with streaks of marker on his face.
I cringed. Surely, she was going to judge me for this. “Why doesn’t she have her act together?” Every paranoid thought raced through my brain about what this first impression must be telling her. In an instant she squashed it, warmly welcoming my little guy to the office, and shared with me that she could relate – she had many work days like this when her teenage children were younger. She even went on to add that she liked seeing kids’ faces around the office – that it always brought a smile to her face. Sweet relief! I relaxed into the rest of my day, James tinkered happily around my office, and I got some work done.
The residual effect of that day at work stays with me. That day I was directly supported in my workplace as a working mother—totally and completely, even on a day where my work and personal worlds collided. Instead of my situation being perceived as a weakness, I was given the freedom to authentically exist in my dual roles of mother and executive.
Sometimes I see coworkers sheepishly shepherding their kids in and out of the office in haste, clearly working through some kind of childcare lapse that day themselves. I understand the urge to avoid having your work and family lives collide. We don’t want our commitment to our jobs ever to be questioned. But if, as we are ever increasingly told these days, bringing our whole selves to work is of utmost importance for success, then what if on occasion that “whole self” includes an additional smaller version of ourselves?
If, as we are ever increasingly told these days, bringing our whole selves to work is of utmost importance for success, then what if on occasion that “whole self” includes an additional smaller version of ourselves? Share on XEarlier this month, the story of a Morehouse College professor who wore his student’s baby in a carrier on his chest during class went viral. The student didn’t want to miss a critical algebra lesson with midterms approaching and couldn’t find childcare for his five-month-old daughter. He showed up with her to class and Professor Nathan Alexander insisted on holding the child so the student could have his hands free to take good notes.
Christine Taylor of Enterprise Holdings Inc. recently penned a column for CNN Business titled “I’m a president and COO. Why I think all moms should bring their kids to the office.” The spirit of her piece was that she wanted her daughters to see firsthand how hard she works, how difficult work is sometimes, and how fulfilling it can also be. Her message of transparent empowerment to her children is powerful! Why shouldn’t they see a well-rounded version of their mother – as she exists both at home and at work? By including her children in her workday from time to time, Christine is not only allowing for further connection with them outside of the home, but she is representing to them another possibility of what their future could look like.
What these two examples have in common is that they serve to normalize the life of a working parent – not only in the eyes of their coworkers, but in the eyes of their own children and others’ children. As professionals working towards the goal of creating the most inclusive environment possible for our employees, let’s be on the front lines of normalizing the lives of working parents. Let’s stop and say hello when we see someone with their kids in tow at work. Let’s get to know each other’s families. Let’s demonstrate for our children what real life looks like for working parents by giving them a front row seat on occasion.
As professionals working towards the goal of creating the most inclusive environment possible for our employees, let’s be on the front lines of normalizing the lives of working parents. Share on XAnd for my fellow Minnesotans who have survived a rash of recent weather-related school closures (six since the end of January in my school district!), let’s congratulate each other for making it through those unexpected interruptions to our schedules, and let’s think about how we can help these situations to be less disruptive in the future by being there to support each other and setting a positive – and probably more importantly, realistic – example of what the life of a working parent may look like.
