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Hear me out that I love my momma cooking, and she could do no wrong in the kitchen. No matter how tired she was coming home from a long day she would whip something up and always say right after, “It’s always the quickest meals that I throw together that come out tasting the best.” One of the famous meals that always tasted better the faster she made it was spaghetti. Now, in my home and no matter where I went within my Black community, a family member or friend’s house, the only way to hook up spaghetti sauce was to add your own seasonings and always add sugar. It wasn’t until later in life I experienced the healthier alternative of sugarless spaghetti sauce, and even sometimes a made-from-scratch tomato sauce and still no sugar added.

In my home and no matter where I went within my Black community, a family member or friend’s house, the only way to hook up spaghetti sauce was to add your own seasonings and always add sugar. Share on X

I was able to learn a thing or two about my own quick spaghetti recipes and have to admit that I think the spaghetti sauce without sugar is my preference for both taste and health benefits. Which brings me to the heart of this article that leaves me at the crossroad of if I would be okay with possibly depriving my kids of a history (damn-near legacy!) in my family and community of spaghetti recipes. Recipes themselves aren’t always written measurements but how we remember the way our elders moved in the kitchen. That warm story I shared in the beginning is not the tale of a mother that has to cook a quick meal for her kids, but instead a cultural memory that defines what family, community, and culture mean to me. How do I navigate never losing those memories while creating new ones for myself and future family? How do I provide the same cultural grounding for my kids if my spaghetti isn’t sweet enough? 

Recipes themselves aren’t always written measurements but how we remember the way our elders moved in the kitchen. Share on X

While I hold these fond memories near and dear, I can’t ignore the historical themes of obesity and diabetes in communities of color, especially low-income and even working middle-class communities. Obesity and diabetes disproportionately impact communities of color. According to the National Black Leadership Commission on Health, Non-Hispanic Blacks have the highest prevalence of obesity at 49.6%, followed by Hispanics at 44.8%[1].  

A Northwestern Medical article shares that Black adults in the U.S. are 60% more likely than white adults to be diagnosed with diabetes, and also introduces Northwestern Medicine Internal Medicine Physician Kimbra A. Bell, MD. While the article offers a number of social determinants that lead to these higher chances of diabetes, it was a quote that resonated with me most while writing this article: 

“Deeply rooted social inequities that have existed since times of slavery play a huge role in the health disparities that are prevalent amongst our Black and Brown communities.” 

Many of the recipes I referred to earlier in this article may be passed down from generations not only within our families, but from historical remembrances of cooking styles, ingredients, and preferences. The way my mother makes her food is the way that was taught to her, and she always cooked with a natural finesse and no need for a written recipe. I actually asked my mom about sugar in spaghetti sauce while writing this, and she shared that she was taught sugar is one way to cut the acid in tomato sauce, especially a fresh tomato sauce. Living in a working, middle-class home, we had the privilege of local grocery stores and fresh food options. So, sometimes, even when presented with the opportunity, we may want to stick to what we know. I would like to think that carrying on my mom’s style of cooking would be a way to never forget those memories I have of the nights eating spaghetti with perfectly seasoned red sauce – don’t forget the sugar. 

Recipes may be passed down from historical remembrances of cooking styles, ingredients, and preferences. The way my mother makes her food is the way that was taught to her with a natural finesse and no written recipe. Share on X

As I continue to consider the possibility of my spaghetti not being sweet enough, I want to work on expanding my thinking in how I can create similar memorable moments for my future kids through cooking and many other experiences. I will continue to seek healthier alternatives of sweetness that can still be in a red sauce, such as using dates instead of white sugar. This way I am able to replicate tried and true recipes while being mindful of the ingredients I use.  

Have you ever taken a moment to think about the routines, recipes, and household nuances you would want to carry into adulthood and/or into the lives of your future family? I am sharing a few prompts I have used and hope they may be helpful to you. I often write them down in my journaling practices, but they can be used as a thinking exercise as well. 

Have you ever taken a moment to think about the routines, recipes, and household nuances you want to carry on? I am sharing a few prompts I have used and hope they may be helpful. Share on X

What are some of your most memorable childhood moments? Pick one, close your eyes, and place yourself in that scenario.

  • How does it feel to be back there? 
  • Does it cause joy or harm? 
  • Would you want to relive it if you could? 

What does ancestry, culture, and history of family mean to you? 

  • How much do you know about your family’s history?  
  • Do you want to know more, or are you content with not knowing? 
  • How would you describe your family or perspective on family to someone else? 

How do you create joy and memorable moments for others? 

  • Ask a few family members, friends, people around you how they would describe you in one or a few words. 
  • How do you feel after hearing or knowing how others describe you?  
  • Do you agree or disagree with the outcomes? 
  • How do you WANT to show up each day for yourself and others? What is your intended impact on those around you? 

[1] https://nblch.org/what-we-do/health-areas-of-focus/obesity/#:~:text=Obesity%20disproportionately%20impacts%20communities%20of,obesity%20among%20any%20demographic%20group.