It’s nice being white. Especially when traveling abroad. I just returned from a long vacation to Asia, and I knew my skin color would afford me certain privileges—because I’d been to Asia before and experienced those privileges.
Years ago, I’d visited Thailand, Malaysia, the Philippines, and elsewhere in Southeast Asia, and it had quickly become obvious to me that local workers in the travel and hospitality industries were friendlier to me because I was pale. I received more smiles, better service, greater attention, and overall enhanced experiences than my Asian travel counterparts.
The same happened on my recent trip to China, Taiwan, and, to a lesser extent, Japan. There’s only one way to describe my feelings about this contrast: It’s all totally f$@ed up.
When many people talk about their travels, they often cite how nice (or not) the locals were. What they implicitly mean is how nice they were to them. But I’ve always been more interested in a different question: How do the natives treat each other?
In China, the answer is “not very well.” It’s a gruff society. They reliably shove each other, yell at each other, and generally treat each other in ways that would make many Westerns wince—if they were paying attention. Numerous times I’d seen Beijingers ask traffic cops or subway attendees seemingly benign questions, only to suffer harangues as a result. Granted, I couldn’t understand the language, but the body language was apparent enough, as was the tone.
It all reminded me of another trip I’d taken. When I visited Russia for the first time in 2002, I was shocked at how rudely Russians treated each other. Amidst their boorish nature, “thank you” and “please” were rarely uttered. And in case you didn’t know, “have a nice day” is a uniquely American phrase. Of course, even when Americans voice that expression, they rarely mean it. But that’s not the point. It’s a nicety. It lubricates our daily lives. It makes us feel good. It promotes civility.
So what are to make of all of this? Am I just being a dirty American who expects the world to live by my standards?
Yes, sort of. I don’t think it’s too much to expect everyone everywhere to act more respectfully and courteously. Clearly, people in every country have the ability to do so—because, as in Asia, they treat foreigners fairly well for the most part. Why not extend that same consideration to each other?
More importantly, what inhibits them from doing so?
I think it’s a combination of inertia and all sorts of socio-economic conditions that inflict daily stress. Which makes addressing incivility a difficult, multi-pronged, and complicated endeavor. I don’t know how to tackle all these issues, but I do know that solutions lie in freedom: political, economic, and the overall abilities around self-expression. Travel, for those, who have the means, is a powerful tool of change to help promote such values.
And so when I went back to Russia in 2007, I saw a different society. People were doing all sorts of new things. They were laughing while walking down the street, they were holding doors open, they were saying “thank you.” These may all seem like trivial actions, but collectively, they help define how people treat one another. I hope such progress continues worldwide.
