I have been preoccupied with my daughter’s wedding for the past few weeks. When I first heard of the Michael Brown killing it was just a week before the wedding. I literally had to force myself not to listen or watch any of the news coverage because I knew if I did I would not have been able to enjoy what I wanted to be a happy and special time in our lives. I purposely shut it all out as best I could.
One of my young relatives (30-something, MBA, great corporate job) told me that she and her husband were attending a rally in their hometown because she just could not sit back and do nothing. While I understood why they wanted to participate, I feared for them, that they could have been harmed or arrested.
One of my colleague’s (holds a leadership role at a major not-for-profit) told me that she did not answer the phone when I called her on Monday because she was watching Michael Brown’s funeral and was in such an emotional state that she knew she could not talk to me. She said she was glued to the television sobbing uncontrollably, just so sad for Michael Brown’s family and so angered that these situations continue to happen in “post-racial America”.
The Michael Brown killing raises so many issues that I will not attempt to address here such as the conflicting accounts of what really happened, the use of police force (i.e. National Guard and tanks) and the long-standing tensions in Ferguson between residents who are primarily Black and the police force which is primarily white.
I do not advocate violence of any type (I strongly believe in non-violence consistent with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi’s philosophies) so I want to make it clear that I am not condoning the community’s response to the killing.
I do, however, want to focus on the emotional toll on our society and especially the African American community. Conservative media accuse us of calling the “race card.” According to a Pew Research survey, only 37 percent of white Americans think the events in Ferguson raise important issues about race. An Edwardsville, Ill., school superintendent will not allow the schools in that district to discuss the situation at all. He has told his teachers that they should change the subject, if it is brought up. Another poll by New York Times and CBS conducted since the shooting revealed that 49 percent of Americans said that most people are not comfortable talking and race and 64 percent said that they rarely or never come into contact with somebody who is Black!
The Travon Martin killing, the Michael Brown killing, the Eric Garner killing and so many others are symbolic of a race-divided nation, one where racial disparities are rampant. White people don’t want to talk about race and Black people can’t talk about race for fear of being accused of calling the race card. On a recent Daily Show episode, Jon Stewart said, “if you are tired of hearing about it, think about how f—ing exhausting it is living it.”
It is exhausting being Black in America. It is frustrating, scary at times, painful, and so many more anxiety ridden emotions that I can’t name them all. I am not a psychologist or therapist, but if I am not mistaken, the first step towards addressing any emotional situation is to talk about it. If we can’t talk about race, it is no wonder that it leads to violence. All of that pent up emotion at some point is going to explode!
Please America, let’s finally learn how to have meaningful dialogue that is not a polarized, us and them debate where there is no real attempt to understand the others’ point of view. I guess in order for that to happen we would first have to admit that race is still a serious issue in America.
I would love to hear from our readers if you know of strategies that are working to ameliorate the racial divide in this country. Share your comments below.
